Explaining Yourself

One of the hardest things about being unemployed is explaining your circumstances to others. It's a hard subject to broach. We live in a society that still esteems self reliance and a strong work ethic. When you are out of work A) It is hard to demonstrate that you are a hard worker and; B) there is an implication that something is wrong with you...otherwise you would be working, right?

I find myself hiding behind the "You got downsized out of a job" assumption most people are making right now. Times are difficult and a lot of people are losing thier jobs through no fault of their own, so it is natural for people to jump to that conclusion. Plus I think people want to give you the benefit of the doubt and offer that conclusion preemptively as if to say "you're OK, it couldn't be your fault that you lost your job."

In fact just the opposite is the truth. I lost my job because I was not very good at it. Sales is not me. Customer service, helping people sort out issues, providing advice, just listening...that's me. Turning that interaction into an annuity sale - that's where I fall off. And since the ability to do that was a central part of my job descriptions - I got canned.

So are you honest and tell people that you are a not good at sales and got fired from a job or do you float along with their assumption that you got downsized out of a job? I tend to float with the assumption.

But isn't that dishonest? Yes, but the context in which the information is sought determines the level of frankness necessary. You are not doing anyone any favors by telling them you failed at a previous job if they merely want to get caught up. It puts people on the defensive. Now they have to search for the right thing to say to be supportive and understanding.

I do, however, frequently add that I am looking to make a complete change of career. And if the conversation moves to a more serious level of discussing a job opportunity I become franker and franker about my abilities and whether the job being discussed would be a good fit.