Explaining Yourself

One of the hardest things about being unemployed is explaining your circumstances to others. It's a hard subject to broach. We live in a society that still esteems self reliance and a strong work ethic. When you are out of work A) It is hard to demonstrate that you are a hard worker and; B) there is an implication that something is wrong with you...otherwise you would be working, right?

I find myself hiding behind the "You got downsized out of a job" assumption most people are making right now. Times are difficult and a lot of people are losing thier jobs through no fault of their own, so it is natural for people to jump to that conclusion. Plus I think people want to give you the benefit of the doubt and offer that conclusion preemptively as if to say "you're OK, it couldn't be your fault that you lost your job."

In fact just the opposite is the truth. I lost my job because I was not very good at it. Sales is not me. Customer service, helping people sort out issues, providing advice, just listening...that's me. Turning that interaction into an annuity sale - that's where I fall off. And since the ability to do that was a central part of my job descriptions - I got canned.

So are you honest and tell people that you are a not good at sales and got fired from a job or do you float along with their assumption that you got downsized out of a job? I tend to float with the assumption.

But isn't that dishonest? Yes, but the context in which the information is sought determines the level of frankness necessary. You are not doing anyone any favors by telling them you failed at a previous job if they merely want to get caught up. It puts people on the defensive. Now they have to search for the right thing to say to be supportive and understanding.

I do, however, frequently add that I am looking to make a complete change of career. And if the conversation moves to a more serious level of discussing a job opportunity I become franker and franker about my abilities and whether the job being discussed would be a good fit.

Published Thoughts - Here Goes

This blog is intended to help those like myself who feel they have a purpose or calling but have difficulty in finding or staying on the path to what or who they were intended to be. Some of us have difficulty maintaining focus - I am one such person.

As I log observations my hope is that some clarity of the important lessons in walking a path to our God given purpose will emerge. I confess up front that I do not know what those lessons will be. My pledge is to write honestly about my experiences.

Here goes!

I am out of work. I have a $218k mortgage and $10k of other debt and no prospects for gainful employment. We put our house up for sale but the market is falling away from us. We have already lost our $100k downpayment from the housing downturn. Now we may not be able to sell the house to cover what we owe on the mortgage. I don't like the idea of bankruptcy. So from my perspective our creditors will just have to understand we will pay them back when we can. Fortunately my wife has a job and it looks like she will continue there safely.

After being let go/resigning from my last job at a community bank, I decided that something needed to change. After 5 1/2 years and all of my savings I started to realize that I am not cut out for sales. People like me but that is not the same as people buying from me. I very rarely had a client who wasn't happy with me - people seem to place a high degree of trust in me. But you gotta make enough sales if you're a salesman - and I didn't.

Sometimes in life it takes a while to get the subtle distinction between what we are good at and what we are asked to do. The good news is that I finally got it. We are all teachable and can learn life's lessons. It's just a question of how long it takes us to get the point life is throwing at us. In my case the learning curve took 5 1/2 years and thousands of dollars.

A couple things I know: Whatever I do, God will have to get the glory for it - not me. And when I finally get onto the path on which I am supposed to be, I will know it. More later...